


Ereri Week 2019

by Riren_Love



Series: Ereri Week [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Banter, Canon-Typical Violence, Hurt/Comfort, Manga Spoilers, Minor Character Death, Reincarnation, Side Jean Kirstein/Erwin Smith, Some descriptions of starvation, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-22
Updated: 2019-09-26
Packaged: 2020-10-25 23:16:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20732330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Riren_Love/pseuds/Riren_Love
Summary: Day 22: ScarsDay 23: Care/ After CareDay 24: Giving InDay 25: Time TravelDay 26: LongingDay 27: HighschoolDay 28: Marriage





	1. Scars

Bad things, Levi thinks, always happen suddenly. 

Losing Isabel and Farlan on their very first expedition outside the walls and blaming himself for it for so long, thinking that if he hadn’t gone after Erwin for revenge, they would still have been by his side at least for a while longer if not to this day. 

The titan’s breaking down the wall for the first time after a hundred years of peace. The death of Eren’s mother, followed by the death of Eren’s father which they only found about much later. 

The titan’s breaking down the wall a second time and the chaos and death that ensued. The loss of his first squad at the hands of the Female Titan whom they later found out was Annie Leonhart, learning of Annie’s betrayal and having to watch Mikasa and Eren comfort a broken-hearted Armin who had just found out the girl he had feelings for was an enemy whom he had to plot to catch, and then again when he lost her within a blink to a crystal which they only managed to get her out of just recently. 

Reiner and Bertholdt’s betrayal and them kidnapping Eren and Ymir, starting a chase to get them back, leading to the Survey Corps learning of the coordinate. Moblit dying saving Hanji and their empty gaze for months after. 

Ymir giving herself up to the Marleyan’s for Historia’s sake, to make sure Historia survives, taking the secret of Historia’s heritage and what it meant for the girl with her to her grave.

Erwin losing his arm and almost his life to the fever that ensued after, before almost losing his life again in Shiganshina when they finally reached the basement of the Yeager’s old, decimated home. 

Armin almost dying in Shiganshina, Bertholdt’s death and Armin inheriting the colossal titan.

Jean losing his eye and Erwin sitting by his bedside every night and caring for him until his injuries had healed. 

Sasha’s death and everyone’s grief over it, Connie’s descend into depression over losing who he believed might as well have been his soulmate. 

Mikasa’s death and the public service to mourn humanity’s second strongest soldier who had managed to win everyone’s hearts during the years of her service, Armin’s and Eren’s worrying emotionless state for a month after, and then to the relief of their comrades finally shedding tears and expressing their grief at the month mark after her death, as if it had just hit them for the first time that she was really gone and not coming back. 

The only exception to that, Levi thinks, had been the death of his mother which had wound up being like one of those agonizing, long, and drawn-out scenes from a play that made everything slows down, had the viewer holding their breath for what would happen next in either nervousness or anticipation for the inevitable.

His mother’s death didn’t happen suddenly nor instantly. It went on for a few heart-wrenching years, no one helping or even knowing what was happening in the small room he and his mother had called home.

All he could do was just sitting there by the far wall on the opposite end of the bed and watch as his mother’s condition deteriorated, trying to get some water into her, giving her whatever food scraps he managed to find while fighting off his own hunger pangs, and occasionally wiping her off, helplessly watching her body lose what little fat it already had, growing filthier and colder as the days passed by. 

He had to watch the warm glow that usually lit her cheeks and made her smile all that much brighter fade away, until his mother was left as a pale, barely alive, barely breathing filthy husk of worn skin and weak bones, until she finally drew her last breath under his helpless gaze.

Really, with the exception of his mother’s death, Levi couldn’t recall anything bad that happened slowly over time.

Bad things always happen suddenly.

And now was no different. 

Glass went flying as a cannonball landed on the rooftop Levi stood on, he had barely managed to push two soldiers out of the projectile’s way, the collision of the cannonball with the roof sending him flying before he could even try to jump off. 

Levi grunted as glass shards slashed deep gashes into his face and small pieces embedded themselves into his skin, the breath knocked out of him as he landed on the ground. 

He opened his eyes from where he had them tightly shut upon his impact with the ground. Feeling confused and disoriented, panic begins to make its way into his heart as his sight kept growing fuzzier, fading in and out. 

He tried to get up but fell back on to his back right away, the panic he felt growing. 

He couldn’t pass out. Not now. 

His comrades were still fighting, he couldn’t just lay here while they fought for their lives and his. 

The feeling of being lifted by gigantic palms broke through the haze of pain and confusion he felt. He turned his gaze up and wasn’t surprised to find Zeke’s beast titan there despite having hoped for it to be a certain teal eyes man holding him instead. 

And at that moment, amidst his incoherent thoughts, Levi had to remind his brain that had begun to panic once again that, to his relief, Eren was currently back at the base within the walls, safe and sound attending a meeting in Sina. Something that, despite Levi’s earlier thought wishing for the teal eyed man to have been the one there and holding him, he was in actuality highly relieved about. 

Eren being here and caught in this situation of having to fight while trying and failing not to worry about Levi’s injuries and current state was the last thing Levi wanted.

Despite how much he wanted to see the brunet at this moment, this is for the best. 

Zeke stared down at him with concern in his eyes, his gaze only moving away from Levi’s form when he the sound of approaching ODM gear. 

It wasn’t long before Hanji was landing onto Zeke’s palm and kneeling down next to him, their worried gaze joining Zeke’s own in staring down at him.

He wanted to tell them not to worry, that he was fine, that they need to let him go and go help the others. But he couldn’t move let alone speak. 

He could see Hanji’s and the Beast Titan’s lips moving, obviously saying something to each other, but he couldn’t hear what they were saying over the sound of his own blood pumping in his ears.

Before long, his sight began growing darker, and his eyes heavy. No matter how much he tried to stop it and to force himself to stay awake, his body refused to obey him and he was out before he knew it.

* * *

Levi’s eyes fluttered open, he groaned in pain and was forced to shut his eyes again at the brightness of the light assaulting his sensitive eyes and the various pains and aches he felt all over his body. 

Once the pain in his eyes faded, opened them again, slower this time, and just stared at the ceiling, waiting for his hazy sight to clear up and trying to sift through his just as hazy memory, wondering where he was right on and what had happened to land him in this condition. 

There was an expedition, that he knew for a fact as he recalled that he had been out on an expedition with Hanji, Zeke, and a few other soldiers. 

The expedition had been to go and find a medicinal herb they needed that for some reason could only grow outside of the walls despite the various attempts to get it to prosper within the walls.

They had left within the week of being informed that the herb was running out, gathering whatever supplies they could and as few people as necessary and leaving the walls just as the sun began to rise. 

But what had happened after that?

* * *

_ They rode off, making sure to keep a lookout for any stray titan that potentially still roamed this close to the walls.  _

_ He remembered Zeke riding up next to him occasionally to talk to him or tease him about something or another, causing Hanji to laugh and getting them to join in on the teasing once in a while, until Levi started ignoring them after the fifth teasing attempting, wanting to focus on the road in case something happened. _

_ They had just arrived at the place where the herb grew in abundance at and collected enough herbs to last for a while and to try finding a way to make them grow within the walls and put them away when something did happen. _

_ He doesn’t know where they had come from, or how they even knew that the Survey Corps would be out that day, but screams started near the back of the formation, causing everyone to freeze in shock, fear, and thinly veiled panic.  _

_ Just as panic and confusion began running rampant up front, a panicked newbie rode from the back of the group with blood and tears dripping down their face, barely breathing through their tears and panic and told them that Marleyan soldiers had shown up from the left and started killing any soldier within reach.  _

_ Levi had turned to face Zeke who was riding next to him at that point with panic barely hidden in his eyes, receiving a similar look from the man in turn.  _

_ They went out to collect herbs and they only brought enough with them enough supplies and men to take out any stray titans in case there were any, they didn’t have enough weapons and men out with them for this, they weren’t prepared enough for a battle.  _

_ But then again, even when things had turned in the Survey Corps favour in regards to the war against the Titans and Marley for a while, they never had enough people.  _

_ It’s a known fact that the Survey Corps is always the perpetually understaffed faction of the military. _

_ Levi had barely finished uttering the order for Zeke to shift when all hell broke loose. The Marleyan forces made it to the front just as Zeke disappeared into the nape of his Beast Titan.  _

_ They were hours away from the walls at that point. With no other choice, they engaged the enemy to protect whatever supply and soldiers they still had left. _

_ They had a few soldiers ride to the walls with the herbs while everyone else kept the Marleyan soldiers distracted, and at some point, Levi had found himself and a few other soldiers in what looked to be an old abandoned village south when the enemy began firing cannons.  _

_ ‘you've got to be kidding me,’ Levi thought, grunting as he barely managed to jump out of the way of an incoming shot, using his ODM gear to whiz away and kill two soldiers manning one of the cannons before landing on another dilapidated rooftop.  _

_ Two Survey Corps soldiers that he recognized to be new landed next to him with a message from Hanji. But before they could deliver it, another cannonball was fired at him, and he was barely able to get the two soldiers out of the way before he was sent flying as the projectile collided with the roof he stood on.  _

_ He remembers the pain of glass slashing his face and smaller bits of it embedding into his skin.  _

_ He remembers the pain of his back, and probably his head to going by how confused he felt afterwards, hitting the ground, his body bouncing off the ground once from the force of the hit before landing. _

The last thing he remembered was a feeling of helplessness and confusion, followed by the comfort and warmth of Zeke holding him in his gigantic hands and peering down at him with Hanji before he had lost consciousness.

Levi was pulled out of his thoughts as the door to the room he now rested in opened, revealing Eren carrying a tray of what appeared to be a bowl of soup, a loaf of bread, a teacup and pot. 

Eren’s tongue was peeking out from between his lips and a look of concentration on his face as he balanced the tray precariously in both arms. He entered the room and pushed the door closed with a socked foot, before turning to face the bed, his expression softening into a small and relieved smile when he noticed Levi awake and looking back at him. 

“Captain…” Eren started, his relief clear in his voice as he approached the bed and set the tray down on the bedside table, immediately lifting the teapot and pouring Levi a cup, setting it down before helping Levi into an upright position, fluffing up the pillow before setting it behind the injured man and then handing him the cup before sitting down on the edge of the bed. “I’m glad you’re awake, you had us worried,” 

“How,” Levi started, only to stop with a wince, his throat dry like sandpaper. He took a sip of tea and cleared his throat before starting again. “How many did we lose?” Levi asked, his expression serious and cold.

Eren’s lips pursed grimly. He didn’t have to ask what Levi meant. After a moment of hesitation, Eren answered. “Half of them.” 

Levi’s brow furrowed in pain before smoothing over. “How long was I out?” 

“You’ve been unconscious ever since you all got back yesterday night,” Eren replied. “I heard from Zeke and Hanji what had happened, how are you feeling?” 

Levi moved his arm experimentally, his eye twitching from the pain the action brought. “I’ve been better,” He shrugged. “I’m bruised and sore, and my face hurts like hell, but I’ll live,”

“You better,” Eren joked softly, lifting his hand to softly brush the pads of his finger against the bandages wrapped around Levi’s face carefully. “Hanji said they will scar,” Eren pointed out, referring to the stitched gashes that now mar Levi’s face. “But since they were properly cleaned and bandaged, they should heal just fine without infection or any complications,” Eren adds, his fingers dropping from Levi’s bandaged nose and down to his jaw, cupping it gently.

Levi sets down the cup back onto the bedside table and places his hand above Eren’s where it rested against his jaw. “But they will heal,” Levi reassures softly, referring to all of his injuries and not just the ones on his face. 

“Yes,” Eren agrees, his gaze softening further and his sight growing misty with unshed tears. “As long as you rest and keep them clean…” Eren’s voice cracks and he sniffles. “As long as you rest and keep them clean, they should heal just fine,” 

“Eren-” Levi starts, only to be cut off when Eren throws his arms around him. 

“Oh, Levi,” Eren sniffles, loosening his arms so he wouldn’t hurt the injured man. “You had me so worried!” 

Levi wraps his arms around Eren and rubs his back gently, feeling the younger man tremble in his arms. 

“When you guys came back and I saw the condition you were in before you were wheeled off to the infirmary, I thought I was going to lose you…” Eren mumbles, words muffled against Levi’s shoulder. He grasps the fabric of Levi’s shirt between his fingers tightly. “I really thought I was going to lose you…”

Levi pulled back and cupped Eren’s jaw, wiping away a falling tear, his gaze never parting from Eren’s own. “But you didn’t,” Levi reminded, his pale blue eyes staring straight into Eren’s watery teal ones. “And you won’t lose me,” He assured, rubbing the pad of his thumb against Eren’s jaw as he brought the man closer again, resting his forehead against Eren’s. “Not if I can help it, and, I’m sure, not if you can help it either.” 

Eren hummed in agreement, his throat too tight to speak. 

“I’m not losing you either,” Levi stated his gaze firm. “I’ll do my best to come back to you, just like I hope you will do your best to always come back to me,” 

Eren stared into Levi’s eyes silently before nodding, his lips pulling into a small smile that turned embarrassed when a hiccup escaped him before it descended into a pout. 

Levi chuckled at that, his eyes hooded as he leaned in and pressed his lips against Eren’s pouting lips softly, the pout melting instantly at the caress of his lips before he pulled back and gently bumped his forehead against Eren’s. 

“I’m not going anywhere if I don’t have to,” Levi promised.

Eren nodded, noticing how Levi didn’t make a promise _not_ to go anywhere period and understanding the reason behind it. If Levi promised not to go anywhere at all, he would be lying since their jobs sometimes required them being in different places. Especially with their ranks and the fact that Eren didn’t need to be looked after anymore and hasn’t needed looking after for a very long time now.

“I won’t go anywhere if I don’t have to either,” Eren promised in return, his heart leaping in joy at the small smile that took over Levi’s lips. 

Eren waited patiently, and when Levi did nothing, he huffed before he leaned in and sealed their lips into a careful yet much deeper kiss. 

Eren pulled back and grabbed the soup bowl and handed it to Levi along with the spoon. “Now eat,” He ordered softly. “You’ve been out without food since yesterday,” He reminded. “You need to eat well, keep hydrated, and get some sleep if you want your injuries to heal faster,”

Levi rolled his eyes and leaned in fast to steal a small kiss before he grabbed the soup bowl and dug in, hiding a small smile at the blush riding high on Eren’s cheeks, ignoring the brunet’s sputtering and whined half-hearted complaints as he ate the now lukewarm soup. 

Bad things might not happen slowly or over time. That Levi knows. They always start suddenly and sometimes end just as suddenly. 

But a lot of times, good things certainly do happen over time and they tend to last longer if the people involved are willing to put in the effort. 

His now five years old, and still going, relationship with Eren, and Erwin and Jean’s wedding next week is the perfect proof of that and the only proof Levi really needs to be convinced. 


	2. Care

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like the story, remember to kudos and comment.

Levi submerged the towel into the ice water bath before pulling it out and squeezing it thoroughly until not even a drop of water fell, wiping Eren’s sweat-slicked forehead before setting the cold towel there and leaving it, hoping it would help cool Eren’s forehead at least a little.

He leans back, brushing Eren’s damp fringe away from his face as he did, his heart clenching in his chest at the look of pain on his lover’s face. 

Eren’s breathing was heavy and hoarse, rumbling in his chest as it came out. The sound of it made Levi feel helpless. He had already done everything he can for the man, gave him medicine, wipes off the sweat every two hours, and is now making sure to cool down his forehead. 

As much as he wants for there to be something, there is nothing he can do for the unconscious man anymore other than replacing the towel on his forehead every time it got warm with a cold one. 

And that hurt. 

Levi wants more than anything to take Eren’s pain away, bear it all himself if that’s what it would take for him to be able to do so. Eren has gone through so much already.

The loss of his mother to what we found out later was Grisha’s first wife, making it so that Eren lost his mother to his titanized step-mother whom he had never known he’d had before then.

The loss of his father that went unknown for at least three years.

The loss of Hannes at the hands of the same titan that took away his mother, and the helplessness that comes with being unable to stop that from happening again despite the ability he had been cursed with.

The loss of Sasha in Marley at the hands of a little brainwashed girl, and then Mikasa at the hand of the same brainwashed yet this time older girl.

Erwin losing his arm trying to get Eren back from Reiner and Bertholdt's grass, something which Eren still sometimes blames himself for, Jean losing his eye, another thing that Eren blames himself for.

The loss of the many other people whom he had grown to care about but that he ended up losing over the years to the Titans, the war against Marley, and the civil war.

He has lost so much and over the course of so little time, and for him to be down for what is sometimes days at a time because he had to maintain his titan ability for longer than his body can handle, because of the damned ability he never even wanted… 

Levi loathed it with a burning passion.

No one deserves all the things Eren had to go through. Not losing one's mother, hometown, father, and almost everything he ever knew to a Titan attack, nor an option to join the military when he was so young, barely twelve at the time. 

A twelve years old boy whose only concerns were getting home before curfew, his sister’s overprotectiveness, and his dreams of seeing the outside world with his sister and childhood friend. 

He didn’t deserve all the death, destruction, illness, and famine that comes with war that forces little children to give up their lives, hopes, and dreams to the military and the titans for a chance at a place to sleep and military rations, and when things get bad enough, for a scrap of food.

Eren deserved better.

They all deserved better. 

The only good things Levi recalls happening in a while are Zeke joining their side, finding out that he, Armin, and Eren might not need to die, and then Jean and Erwin’s marriage last year.

After everything they have gone through, they all deserved much more than just three good things happening in a whole year.

Levi holds Eren’s hand in his, gently caressing the back of it with his thumb, tensing when he hears the sound of the door open, announcing an intruder, only to relax again when he realizes when he realizes the intruder was just Zeke with carrying a tray bearing a freshly brewed pot of tea and three cups, one for him, one for Levi, and the third for Eren in case he happened to be awake.

Though with one look Zeke knew the third cup won’t be used yet if at all today. 

“How is he?” Zeke asks softly, his tone concerned as he sets down the tray onto the stool placed near the coffee table and then proceeds to pull it and a chair near the bed where Eren still rested and seating himself next to Levi before pouring the man a cup of tea, hoping it would help soothe his nerves. 

God knew the man needed it after that day’s farce of an expedition. 

“Still unconscious,” Levi responds, accepting the teacup with a soft thanks that Zeke acknowledges with a small smile. He looks at Eren’s unconscious form and takes a sip of his tea, letting out a sigh as he felt his muscles slowly relax and the stress he had been feeling ever since they got back slowly unwinding, knowing that until Eren woke up, his stress and tension won’t be completely gone no matter how many cups of tea he drinks. 

Levi rests the cup on his knee and turns to look at Zeke who was gazing at his younger brother sadly, his fingers clenched tightly around his own cup. 

“His fever has been steadily going down for the past half an hour though,” Levi assures and watches as Zeke’s fingers relax their hold around his cup and his shoulders unclench.

“Thank you,” Zeke said, his gaze soft as he looks at Levi from the corner of his eye. 

Levi only nods at that. Knowing that if anyone understood what Eren was going through at the moment, it would be his older brother who has also been a recipient of the curse. 

“How is it going with the cure?” Levi asks with barely contained hope in his voice.

“I visited Hanji’s lab and asked them about it before I came here, they had already started working on it, and said they should have something they feel comfortable for us to try in the next few days,” 

Levi nodded in understanding, knowing that making medicine took time and Hanji wanted to make sure it was as safe as possible before they felt comfortable allowing Armin, Eren, and Zeke to use it.

They had learned not long ago that the titans were a product of human experimentation and that the serum that turned people into titans was made from a certain plants extract. 

Finding out what that plant was, what it looked like, and where can be found, Hanji and Erwin approached the higher-ups with a request to head out on an expedition to procure said plant with the proposal that if they had it, they could figure out why it’s extract could be made into a serum that turned people into titans, then they could figure a way to create a vaccine and an antidote to reverse or at least halt its harmful effects on the shifter.

Wanting nothing more than for the titans to be gone already and with Hanji and Erwin being the persuasive fuckers that they are, their request was approved within the same meeting. 

Levi really loves his friends. His amazing, smart friends who loved to tease the shit out of him, especially about his relationship with Eren, until he felt like kicking them to the moon. His asshole yet lovable and precious friends.

He could never, not in a thousand years, sufficiently show just how grateful he feels to have people who care about him enough to stick by his side and remain in his life through his oftentimes crotchety, and at times borderline hostile behaviour. He doesn’t think he could ever sufficiently show just how grateful he is to have them in his life.

He will need to work on that because he would be damned if he didn’t know that they deserved all the gratitude and love he could give. Especially after this, after knowing just how hard they had worked to get the expedition sanctioned and how hard Hanji is working now on making a vaccine and an antidote for Zeke, Armin, and Eren.

“How are you feeling?” Levi asks conversationally. “You got quite a few injuries, didn’t you?” He questions, studying Zeke from head to toe. 

Still a little sore, but all of my injuries have pretty much healed,” Zeke answers, understanding that despite the nonchalant way Levi had asked the question, it had come from a place of genuine concern. Attempting to lighten the mood, Zeke turns to look at Levi and opens his blue eyes impossibly wide, pursing his lips into an exaggerated pout and sniffles. “I still have a boo-boo on my finger though, can you kiss it better for me?” He teases, wagging a finger in Levi’s face. 

Levi rolls his eyes before batting away the finger Zeke wagged in his face with a faked exasperated sigh. “Gross, kiss your own damn boo-boos,” He jokes dryly, bringing his teacup to his lips in part to hide the smile forming there and to actually take a sip. 

“Aw, you’re so mean to me, Levi,” Zeke sighs. “If someone sees how you treat me, they wouldn’t know we’re almost brothers-in-law,” He adds, causing Levi’s eyes to widen and for him to on his tea. 

Seeing the shocked expression on Levi’s face and the tea now dripping down his chin, Zeke can’t stop himself from devolving into a raucous fit of laughter. “Oh my god!” He chokes, tears streaming down his face. “Your face!” he wheezes, barely stopping himself from choking on his own spit. 

After staring flatly at Zeke for a prolonged moment, Levi couldn’t help but join him with a low chuckle, their laughter stopping abruptly when a groan emits from the bed, causing their eyes to widen and the laughter to catch in their throats. 

They turn their attention to the bed hastily, hopefully, and breathe a sigh of relief when they see Eren’s teal eyes open and staring at the both of them in confusion. 

“I heard laughter,” Eren squeaks questioningly, his expression tired but curious and his voice rough yet soft and gummy. 

Levi sets down his teacup and takes hold of Eren’s hand, feeling more relieved than any words he has in his vocabulary could ever describe, while Zeke goes about pouring Eren a cup of the now lukewarm tea.

“Zeke was being an ass,” Levi whispered softly, caressing the back of Eren’s hand with his thumb as Zeke handed Eren a teacup before sitting back down in his seat. 

Eren made an inquiring sound in the back of his throat before drinking from the tea handed to him, soothing his dry throat. 

“I was just telling Levi how if you slept any longer, you’ll be turning into sleeping beauty and he would have to kiss you awake,” 

Levi snorted at that, hiding the sound behind a cough as Eren sent his brother the stink eye over his teacup. 

“I’m beginning to regret telling you about that story now,” Eren states flatly.

That story being how Armin had found that fairy tale book hidden among his grandfather’s books when they were children not that long after they had become friends, and how Armin had read him that story.

Needless to say, after reading that story, there was an abundance of the prince being woken up with a kiss by prince charming role plays that alternated who played the role of the comatose prince and who played as the prince who fought the dragon and saved the other from eternal sleep after that. 

Eren had made the mistake of telling Zeke about that story not long before Zeke had joined the Survey Corps. 

“No you don’t,” Zeke singsonged, his grin stretching from ear to ear when Levi nodded in agreement to that.

Okay, okay. So maybe Eren really didn’t regret telling him about it. 

While Zeke constantly finds a way to tease him over it, telling his brother that story ended up being a good bonding experience for the both of them as neither shared any memories together that they could have bonded over and hadn’t known each other long at that point. 

With how their childhoods ended up being like, what with Zeke’s parents trying to control him and force their own agenda on him, and then him being manipulated by the only person he thought cared for him after into a life he hadn’t wanted, and both essentially losing their parents at a young age, they couldn’t bond over memories of their family, even more so when their experiences with that was vastly different.

So no, despite what he had just said and how annoying he found the teasing sometimes, he really didn’t regret telling Zeke that story. 

That won’t stop him from pouting and whining every time though. 

Eren intertwined his fingers with Levi’s and turned to face him with an exaggerated pout on his lips, making it clear that he doesn’t actually mind. “It seems like older brother dearest wants to be excluded from our weekly Saturday family dinner,” He teased, the words earning him a snort from the captain. 

It was something they had started not long after Zeke had joined their side, and Levi and the Survey Corps were more than willing to indulge it, wanting to allow the brothers time to bond and get to know each other better after pretty much spending their whole lives not knowing of each other’s existence and then having to fight against each other for a while when they finally did. 

And what better opportunity for that than weekly family dinners where they get to spend time together and where Zeke gets to meet and know both Eren and those he considers friends and family?

Zeke fake gasps in horror. “You wouldn’t…” He says, turning a pout of his own at Eren who just looks off to the side, his lips twitching in barely held in laughter. 

Zeke gets out of his seat with a huff and turns away from the bed, glancing at Levi from the corner of his eye as he spoke. “Since my mean little brother is now awake, I will go inform Erwin and the others and then head to the lab to see if there is anything I can help Hanji and the other researchers with in regards to what we discussed earlier,” 

“Alright,” Levi replies. “If anything new comes up, come find me at any time,” 

“Alright,” Zeke agrees before leaving the room with a wave towards the both of them. 

With Zeke out of the room, Levi gets out of his seat and sits next to his lover on the bed instead, Eren leaning against him without needing to be prompted to. 

“How are you feeling?” Levi asks softly, taking Eren’s hand in his once again and intertwining their fingers.

“Still slightly feverish, and my muscles are a little sore, but other than that, I’m feeling much better,” Eren assures, rubbing the pad of his thumb against the back of Levi’s hand comfortingly. “I would appreciate another cup of tea though, I’m still thirsty and my throat is still a little sore,” He admits with a cough, sending his still worried lover a sheepish grin 

Levi gives a small yet relieved smile. “I’ll go brew some right away,” he says. “And get you something easy to swallow to eat while I’m at it,” 

“Please,” Eren flashes Levi a grateful expression, pulling him into a loving kiss that Levi readily reciprocates.

Levi is the first to pull back, gazing at Eren lovingly, placing a kiss onto Eren’s still warm forehead before getting off the bed, patting Eren’s knee once he was on his feet. “I’ll be back right away,” He promises, making his way to the door and exiting the room, closing the door behind him to allow his lover to rest peacefully.

He stretches, allowing his spine to pop and feeling it realign. 

For someone who is sick with a fever and a sore throat, porridge is the best bet. As for tea, chamomile blend might be for the best. 

Knowing what he is going to make, he straightens back up to his full height and pushes his hands into his pockets before making his way to the kitchen.

He better get the food made, the tea brewed and make sure he is back to his lover as soon as possible. 

Due to the expedition and everything that came with preparing for it, he and Eren hadn’t had much time to spend together for the three weeks leading up to the expedition. 


	3. Giving In

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember to kudos and comment if you like the story.

Levi leans back against the windowsill, teacup in hand and a contented sigh on his lips, enjoying the calming songs of chirping birds going about their day and watching Eren chopping wood with sweat dripping down his neck and to his naked chest, making his skin appear to glow in the sun’s warm light

His pale blue eyes observe his lover drop the axe for a moment in favour of grabbing the towel wrapped around his neck which he had brought out with him to wipe the sweat dripping down his neck and temple before letting it hang around his neck once again and grabbing the axe, going back to wood chopping. 

He leans back in his chair and gets lost in his thoughts, taking a trip down memory lane and remembering the day they got together and everything that had led up to it...

* * *

It had been after a busy day of chores and meetings when Eren had pulled him aside, saying he had something important to discuss with him.   


Levi felt like Eren had been acting oddly all day, nervous and stealing glances at Levi whenever he thought the man wasn’t looking.

He assumed that Eren’s behaviour stemmed from missing a spot while cleaning or some other thing that was easy to fix and he was just over-reacting, thinking Levi would freak out over it. 

He thought that this would just end up being him having to assure Eren that it was okay he had missed a spot while cleaning, that he wasn’t angry about it, that there was no reason for him to be since it was something that could be easily solved just by wiping the area again.

He thought they would exchange a few words and that he could have Eren returning to normal within moments.

That was why Levi didn’t think much of it or how nervous and fidgety Eren had appeared to be when he approached him, the captain merely following him when Eren asked him to.

It wasn’t until Eren remained quiet and tense throughout the entire walk, that Levi realized that maybe he had misunderstood the situation and this entire thing wasn’t about something as simple or easily fixable like a missed spot while cleaning.

At this point, the captain had begun to feel concerned. It wasn’t often that Eren was that nervous or tense, that being something that was usually reserved for some of the higher-ups and war-related situations.

It certainly was not something that had been directed at Levi himself in a long time. It stopped being something directed at Levi not long after the death of Levi’s first squad and the detainment of the Female Titan, Annie Leonhart. 

Long had passed since then and Levi had thought that they had reached a stage in their acquaintanceship in which Eren knew he could trust and talk to Levi without fearing judgement or retribution, but seeing how nervous and tense Eren was now, maybe Levi had been wrong. 

Levi was pulled out of his thoughts when Eren stopped walking, instinctively doing the same to avoid bumping into the man and knowing they had arrived at wherever it was that Eren was taking him, which he now realizes upon taking a cursory glance around, is the backyard.

Levi supposes that made sense as usually everyone on base would be inside cleaning up the building and preparing for lunch, making the backyard the perfect place to talk over something private as doing so inside would always risk being caught or overheard at this time of the day.

Levi waited patiently, he wasn’t in any hurry and didn’t want to push Eren to talk before he was ready to do so.

His thoughts instantly freeze, his heart squeezing in his chest, his pale blue eyes widening against his will, caught off guard when Eren turns to face him with an expression so…

So heart-wrenchingly… Nervous.

Determined.

Hopeful.

And another emotion, one that struck Levi as familiar but he couldn’t seem to put his finger on it nor recall where he had seen it for the life of him. An emotion that left his knees feeling weird and his fingertips tingling. 

An emotion that felt both warm and sweet, like a warm blanket and a hot cup of tea on a freezing and wet winter night that warms the one it covers to the bone and makes them forget about the unforgiving temperatures outside.

His contemplation was brought to a halt as Eren seemed to make up make up his mind on how to breach the subject he needed to talk about. He straightened up to his full height, no longer slouching or twitching in place with nerves, finally seeming ready to talk. 

“Captain,” Eren starts carefully, making sure he had the captain’s attention before going on. “I’ve been wondering if I should bring this up for a while now, as well as how to do so if I decided to go for it for.” He admits. 

Levi tilts his head curiously, wondering what this is about but keeping silent to allow Eren to get his thoughts in order and talk unrushed. Whatever he had to say seemed important and Levi didn’t want to scare him into silence when he finally seemed willing to talk about it.

“I was hesitant at first, with everything that has been going around, it’s not something that is easy to bring up or talk about, and it always felt like it was never the right time for something like this,” Realizing that he was rambling, Eren shuts himself, shaking his head to get his thoughts back in order. 

He meets Levi’s gaze again, his teal eyes were sincere. “What I’m trying to say is that…” Eren hesitates for a moment before gritting his teeth, deciding to just get it over with at this point. 

_ ‘Ah…’ _ Levi thinks, feeling as if he had just been hit with an epiphany that forced him to recall where he had seen that expression from moments ago before, immediately recalling Petra and the way she always looked at him when she thought he wasn’t paying attention.  _ ‘So that’s what it was…’  _

It had been such a long time ago since he had last been looked at that way, it wasn’t surprising that he had forgotten what that feeling tended to look like.

Levi felt conflicted. One part of him felt happy, flattered even. But the other more responsible part of him...

Alarm bells go off in his head, and before he could stop it, Eren talks. 

“I love you and I have loved you for a while now!” 

Well…

Shit.

“Eren…” Levi starts hesitantly, his voice fading into uncertain silence. He rubs the shaved part of his undercut roughly, massaging the area thoughtfully, wondering how to get across what he needs to while causing as little pain as possible. “Listen… While I’m flattered by your feelings for me... I’m afraid I cannot accept them.” 

Eren’s hopeful expression immediately dropped. “May I ask why?” He asks hesitantly, the words coming out choked and soft like his throat was closed and he had a hard time even getting them out. 

He hurt Eren. He knows he had. Even though it was the last thing he wanted to do…

Levi’s gaze softened. “Eren… I’m your superior officer.” Levi states carefully. 

“And?” Eren sniffles.

When Levi sees that his statement had only caused confusion to join the sadness and hurt occupying Eren’s expression, he realizes that he hadn’t explained enough and he elaborates. 

“While there is no rule forbidding a relationship between two military personnel or between a superior and a subordinate, it is generally frowned upon for a superior to be romantically or sexually entangled with their subordinates,” Levi explains. “It’s seen as the superior abusing their position and taking advantage of their subordinates. If such a rumour were to break out, which it’s bound to happen even if us getting together is completely consensual, regardless of whether the rumour is true or false, while it won’t get either of us fired or anything, the Survey Corps already has so little soldiers as it is, it would bring further scorn to us and affect the funding we get, and we barely get any already,” He adds patiently. “The less funding we have, the less likely we are to be able to leave on expeditions. It could also make people doubt whether we would be able to do our jobs or not, and we can’t afford that now, not when we’ve finally found out about another civilization outside the walls,” 

Thoughtful silence descended around them as Eren worked on digesting everything the captain had just said through his heartbreak. He couldn’t help but feel a tiny sprout of hope begin to grow in the frozen soil of his heart as he realized that despite all the reasons Levi gave that they shouldn’t be together, there was something he never said. 

“You didn’t say you don’t have feelings for me,” Eren points out softly, feeling determination begin to fill his heart again. 

“I- What?” Levi questioned, taken aback. The feeling growing when Eren lifts his gaze from where it had been firmly staring at the ground to meet his own with an expression of pure determination rivalling the one he has when out fighting titans on his face. 

“Despite all the reasons you’ve given against this relationship, you never once said that you didn’t have feelings for me, and that confuses me,” Eren points out, more confidently. “I understand all of what you said, but if you want to reject me, wouldn’t it have been easier to just say that you didn’t feel the same?” Eren asks, his head tilting to the said curiously. “If you had said that, I would have just backed off and never broached the subject again, I’m not into trying to get into a relationship with people who aren’t interested in me after all,” 

“But out off all the reasons you gave against the relationship, you never gave the reason that you don’t have feelings for me, which makes me wonder as to how you really feel about me, considering that with every reason you gave against  _ us _ it sounded more and more like you were trying to convince yourself of them rather than to convince me,” Eren hesitates for but a moment before he steps forward and carefully takes Levi’s hands in his, intertwining their fingers and carefully rubbing the pad of his thumb against the back of the captain’s hand, hoping the act would provide comfort, especially now that the captain looked obviously tense. 

“Levi…” Eren starts softly, catching the captain’s attention and getting the man to meet his eyes. “I understand that you don’t think us being in a relationship is a good idea, and I’m willing to accept that and back off,” Eren admits, his eyes sincere. “But can you at least be honest with me and tell me how you really feel about me?”

“If I do that, tell you honestly how I feel,” Levi murmurs softly, squeezing Eren’s fingers lightly between his own.”Then  _ I  _ won’t be able to let  _ you _ go,” He admits, his pale blue eyes appearing to almost shine as they maintain contact with Eren’s.

Eren worries his lower lip thoughtfully, the little sprout in his heart growing taller and stronger with each word Levi says. 

“I can give you time to think about this if you want,” Eren suggests. “And if after thinking about it, you still feel like you don’t want to be with me, I’ll back off,” He promises and steps back to give Levi his space...

Before he knew what he was doing, Levi found himself using their intertwined hands to pull Eren close again before he could even stop or convince himself otherwise, shocking the both of them. 

Now standing even closer than they had earlier, Levi lets go of Eren’s hands, wrapping his arms around the shocked brunet’s abdomen instead. 

“Levi?” Eren questions, his voice soft and weak with the hope that filled it. 

Eren swallows unconsciously before uncertainly allowing his arms to raise from where they had been resting against his side, his heart feeling as if it were trying to beat its way out of his chest, and wraps them around Levi in turn.

“That’s not necessary,” Levi says, his voice muffled from where his mouth was squished against the material of Eren’s forest green long sleeve shirt.

“It isn’t?”

“It isn’t,” Levi confirms, pulling his face away from where it had been pressed against Eren’s shirt. “I’m saying that I love you too and have done so for a while as well,” He admits staring into the man’s confused eyes confidently. 

“Does that mean that you want to be in a relationship with me?” Eren asks hopefully and feels his heart soar when Levi nods in response, until it plummets as a particular thought occurs to him. “You aren’t forcing yourself into this, right?” Eren asks hastily, his words getting increasingly panicked. “You know that I wasn’t trying to coax or force you into entering a relationship with me, right?” 

“Eren, calm down,” Levi says, carding his fingers through Eren’s long brown locks then pulls him down, pressing his forehead against Eren’s. “First thing first. Yes, it means that I want to be in a relationship with you,” Levi states matter of factly. “No, you neither forced nor coaxed me into agreeing to be with you. I agreed to be with you because I wanted to.”

“You were so against it earlier though?” Eren points out, his panic having calmed down some but his voice still concerned. 

“I didn’t want to take advantage of you,” Levi admits. “I thought if I accepted your feelings, I would be taking advantage of you. I wasn’t really against forming a relationship with you either, but against the serious repercussions doing so can have for the both of us, both for our jobs and us as people.” 

“Being soldiers in the Survey Corps means our job always takes precedence over our wishes.” Levi murmurs softly, placing his hand on Eren’s cheek lightly. “We might not necessarily be on the same team on expeditions, and even if we were, the chances of not being forced to part at any point while out there is minimal.” 

“Do you understand that, Eren?” He asks, brushing his fingers over Eren’s cheek lovingly.

“Yes, I do.”

“We might even have to keep our relationship a secret, only able to be open about it around family and friends… Are you okay with that?”

“Yes,” Eren agrees firmly. “They’re the only ones who matter anyway, I don’t care whether anyone else knows or not,”

“Are you sure?” Levi asks, bringing their faces closer.

“I’m,” Eren promises. 

Levi leans up and bridges the distance between them, pressing his lips against Eren’s softly, letting out a low delighted hum when Eren sinks his fingers into his undercut and deepens the kiss. 

The moment their lips touched, Levi knew he didn’t and would never regret giving in. 

* * *

“I’m glad there is someone who loves and cares for my little brother enough to even find the sight of him chopping wood something worth watching,” Zeke murmurs by Levi’s ear matter of factly, his gaze staring out of the window in the direction Levi had been staring dreamily in for god knows how long now.

Levi choked, hastily turning his eyes away from where they had been occupied watching his boyfriend, to stare at the new occupant of the room that had slipped in while he had been occupied with staring at Eren.

Zeke's expression was nonchalant but his eyes were sincere even with the teasing gleam occupying them, making it clear that his words weren’t entirely teasing.

Levi cleared his throat. “When did you come in?” He asked, pulling a handkerchief out of his pocket and wiping his mouth. 

Zeke stared at the ceiling thoughtfully. “At the tail end of your trip down memory lane, I would say, when your eyes got all sparkly, your lips turned up, and your cheekbones turned red as you stared dreamily at my little brother,” He stated lightheartedly. “About 5 minutes ago I guess.” Zeke hummed teasingly.

“Do you always have to run your mouth?” Levi grumbles under his breath.

Zeke snorts, eyeing the captain from the corner of his eye. “You know you love it,” Zeke cuts Levi off before he can retort. “Oh, he is coming,” He nods towards the window, referring to Eren approaching the window. 

“What are you guys talking about?” Eren asked once he stood by the window, his breath a little strained, he lifts the towel thrown across his neck and uses it to wipe his face, one eye closed and the other gazing at his boyfriend and his brother curiously. 

“Nothing,” Zeke shrugs. “Just how smitten the captain is with you,”

Eren pauses his wiping and stares at them both, from Zeke’s amused expression to Levi’s disgruntled one and laughs. “He is, isn’t he?” He asked softly, his tone full of fondness as he and Levi stare at each other lovingly. 

“Oh, wow, I’m going to leave before you two start making out in front of me,” Zeke states with a roll of his eyes before leaving.

Eren chuckles before placing his hands on the window sill and using the surface for leverage to jump into the room, coming to a stand next to his lover. “How is your day going?”

“Now that the menace is gone, much better,” Levi huffs.

“Oh please, we both know you don’t really think of him that way. I still remember when you suggested that we start having our weekly Saturday family dinners not long after Zeke had joined us as if it had happened just yesterday,” Eren reminds, his lips pulled back into a fond and reminiscent smile. “I never really got to thank you for that, now that I think about it.”

“You don’t need to thank me for that,” Levi assures. “You guys needed an opportunity to get to know each other better, something the Survey Corps was more than willing to provide for once it was suggested,” 

“Yes, they were,” Eren agreed. “But it’s not something that would have happened if you hadn’t suggested it and if Erwin and Hanji hadn’t backed you upon it. I might not need to thank you for it, but I do want to,” Eren admits softly, getting closer to his lover and leaning down, placing a hand on his cheek.

“So thank you,” He breathes against Levi’s lips before closing the distance and pressing their lips together, savouring the way Levi just melted against him. 

“You’re welcome,” Levi mumbles against Eren’s lips once they’d pulled back.

Yes, Levi definitely didn’t regret giving in.


	4. Time Travel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember to kudos and comment if you like the story.

“Hey, Eren,” Levi starts, looking at the collection of tea canisters he had in front of him thoughtfully before turning to Eren to ask him what he wants to drink. 

But right as he turned around and the words were about to leave his lips, he froze, any thought of what he had wanted to say fading away in the face of Eren’s devastated, apologetic and heartbroken expression as he looked back at him, letting Levi instantly know that something was wrong. 

Tea the least of his worries right now, Levi studies the man, his gaze going over the stricken lines of his expression thoughtfully, feeling worry mount in his heart. 

He felt confused, not understanding what could possibly make his lover bear such an expression at the moment, as the only times he had seen it before was when Eren had to disobey one of Levi’s orders, saw a comrade die, or felt like he had done something to cause said death.

Which none of could’ve really have been the case because Levi hadn’t had to give any orders in a while, they hadn’t had and expedition nor had Marley attacked the walls in a while either, so no one had died, and for the same reason, there was no reason for Eren to feel like he had led someone to their death either.

Levi’s gaze flitted between Eren’s wet and glimmering teal eyes as if he would find the answer to what ails his lover there. And he did.

That’s when he notices the guilt and determination present in equal measures within the depths of his beloved’s eyes. 

His eyes widen a little and his lips drop open against his will as he suddenly realizes what this is about, the realization taking him to an old memory of a talk by the fireplace on a damp and cold night. 

Without a word, Levi approaches Eren and wraps his arms around the man, pulling his head down, burying the man’s face against his neck and running his fingers through the messy brown locks, hoping the act would provide the comfort and understanding he wanted it to.

And it did.

Eren wrapped his arms around the man in turn, holding him tight, a hiccuped wet laugh escape escaping him.

Eren smiled wetly against Levi’s neck as tears flowed freely down his cheek. As he had thought, his lover did understand. 

They stood there for a while, just hugging with Levi letting Eren cry to his heart's content against his shoulder. 

When Eren seemed to have calmed down some, Levi pulled back and wiped his tears away before taking his hand and pulling him to the coffee table where he proceeds to seat him down on the sofa before going back to making tea, this time choosing the tea himself for the both of them, a chamomile blend.

Once the tea was done steeping, he poured two teacups and brought them to the table, handing one to Eren before sitting down next to the man. 

“What happened?” Levi asked patiently, not asking why Eren was feeling guilty, he already knew the answer to that. He’s asking what forced Eren to make that decision. 

Because for Eren to do it, to break the promise he had made to Levi, it must have been something really serious that forced his hand. Something completely out of his control. 

Something that would take away their freedom forever and drive them to extinction. 

“We had gone out on an expedition to test the new vaccine…”

“Vaccine?”

“Yes,” Eren confirms. “Two months from this day we learn that the titans are a product of the Marley government’s human experimentation to create a deadly weapon to brandish against other nations. The experiments they conducted led to the creation of the titans. We find out not long after how the titan serum is made and learn that it involves the extract of a certain plant.” Eren elaborates. 

“Thanks to Erwin and Hanji’s persuasive power, we get permission to head on an expedition to secure the plant and study the potential of a vaccine to titanization and a cure to the 13 years side effect of being a shifter, which leads to the creation of a vaccine by the collective effort of Hanji, the scientific, and the medical team after a full year of intensely studying the serum we had managed to get our hands on and the plant that plays a big role in making it.”

Levi’s breath hitches, his heartbeat speeding up. “Does that mean that you-” His voice fades, his thoughts feeling numb and his voice as if isn’t his own. “That you, Zeke, Annie, and Armin are cured in a year from now?” He asks, the words leaving him feeling strangled and breathless with hope.

“Almost,” Eren says, his words choked with what Levi could only describe as deep frustration, sadness, and grief. “The expedition I mentioned earlier was to test the effects of the vaccine on the titans to find out how it worked if it did, and see if it needed any changes and fine-tuning before we use it on ourselves.”

“But something happened before you could find out.” Levi deducted, his heart plummeting with anxiety as he understood where Eren was going with that. Something horrible had happened on the expedition. Something more horrible than anything before, forcing Eren to jump back in time in hopes of changing it.

“Yes,” Eren agreed. “Erwin had stayed behind to deal with something, so the expedition was led by Hanji…”

* * *

Hanji vibrated in their saddle, excited for the potential results this expedition could show in regards to the newly made vaccine. 

After weeks of trying to convince the higher-ups, they were finally granted permission to leave on an expedition to test the vaccine. 

As they impatiently waited for the gate to open, the air was tense, everyone on edge with both excitement and anxiety as to what this expedition would bring. 

If the vaccine worked, it would be a large step taken to realize their efforts of eradicating the titans and possibly winning this war against Marley. 

Once vaccinated, Marley won’t be able to turn anymore Paradis Island occupying Eldians into Titans. Eren, Armin, and Zeke won’t have to die because of the side effects of being shifters either.

And sooner or later they can find a way to get the vaccine to the Eldians in Marley as well.

If the vaccine works… If it really works… It would be another step for them towards freedom. 

The gate opens and it’s as if the very earth they stood on finally exhaled a long and held in breath of relief and anticipation as the soldiers send their horses into a canter past the gate, the people there to see them off cheering them on until they were out of sight and the gate closes once again.

They rode with haste, intent on finding and capturing a group of titans to bring back fast, not wishing to be outside the walls in these conditions longer than necessary, not until they found a way to fight against the serum.

They rode on as hard as they could but were forced to take a brief break three hours into the trip to eat and allow the horses some rest. 

“What do you think the results of the experiment will be?” Zeke asks, sitting down on the ground next to his brother who had just taken a bite of bread. 

Eren glanced at his brother from the corner of his eye, his chewing slowing for a thoughtful moment before proceeding at normal speed and he swallows. “I don’t know,” He replied honestly. “It could end in either a success or a failure, we won’t really know until after the experiment has been done,” 

“So you’re saying it can fail?” 

“It’s possible,” Eren confirms. “This is, after all, our very first attempt at creating a vaccine and cure for the titanization and side effects of being a shifter. It’s always possible that making the vaccine won’t work on the very first attempt.” 

“That’s quite discouraging,” Zeke points out with a sigh, his shoulders slumping as he lifts the ration bar to his mouth and takes a large bite, chewing dejectedly.

“Is it really?” Eren asks. “While it’s true that we might not succeed the first time, but it’s Hanji we are talking about.” He reminds. “They won’t allow us to die. Even if we fail at making it now, with how tenacious they are, we will succeed sooner or later. That’s how Hanji is like,” He reminds, his eyes softening and the lines of his mouth uplift into a small and fond smile.

“They are, aren’t they?” Zeke joins in with a soft and fond smile of his own, seeming to cheer up at the reminder. 

“What are we talking about?” Hanji asks, joining Eren and Zeke off to the side where they were seated and watching horses interact with each other and graze on the dewy grass. 

“I was asking Eren what he thought the vaccines success rate would be,” Zeke tells them. 

“Oooh?” Hanji hums, turning their attention to Eren curiously. “And? What do you think of the success rate?” 

“As I told my brother earlier; I don’t know,” Eren retells with a shrug. “It’s our first attempt, there is no guarantee it will be a success, hence the trials and why we are out here today,”

“That is true, we will never know for sure until we try it.” Hanji agrees. “Did you both receive a mask already?” 

“Yes, I did,” Zeke confirms, taking his mask out of his satchel and showing it to Hanji. 

“What about you, Eren?” They asked, turning their gaze to the man in question. “Good,” They say, satisfied when Eren takes out his mask and shows it to them as well.

“Why do we need those?” Eren asks, waving his mask around curiously. 

“Ah, I haven’t really talked much about the vaccine, have I?” Hanji recalls, facepalming at the reminder of how little they had actually told Eren and Zeke about the vaccine. “I made a few different things to try, one of the vaccines we are going to try first is a gas, which is why the masks are necessary.” They explained. 

“If it doesn’t work is one thing, but it would be bad if the vaccine turns out to be harmful to shifters and you guys end up inhaling it,” They point out, shivering at the thought of harming the Yeager brothers or Armin. “Our plan of action is to test the gas on the first horde of titans we can find, then observe what it does for an hour, documenting what it does if it does anything at all. If the horde dies, then we will try to locate another, capture a few titans and take them back with us to the walls,”

“That way, we will be able to test the vaccine and do any fine-tuning or changes that might be needed to it in a more controlled environment.”

“What if none of the prototypes you’ve made work?” Zeke asks nervously.

“If none of them works, then we will just have to try again,” Hanji states matter of factly, their eyes showing just how serious they are about this. “As much as I’m hoping that we will get results on the first try, there isn’t any guarantee of that, we might have to make changes to the prototype and repeat the trials multiple times before we have any success with the vaccine and cure,” 

“As much as I want you all to remain hopeful about this expedition and hate the thought of this ending up as anything but a success,” Hanji begins sadly, their eyes soft as they glanced from the both of them to Armin who stood on the other side of the camp talking to a few new soldiers before directing their attention back to Eren and Zeke. “We have to be prepared for the possibility that this prototype might not work,” 

A solemn silence fell around them. As much as the possibility of failure was something none of them wanted to consider, not when it came to this at least, they also knew that Hanji was right, that the more prepared they were, the less disappointed they will feel later, and the more likely they are to be able to move on and work with a clear head.

Being hopeful was important. But so was being able to forgive oneself for making mistakes and being able to go on. 

“Well,” Hanji says, getting up from where they had been seated on the ground and dusted themselves off before clapping to catch everyone’s attention. “Now that we’ve rested and had something to eat, we should clean up and get back on the road. I want us to be back inside the walls before nightfall,” 

“Yes, sir!” 

They were back on the road again within 10 minutes. 

It took two hours of fast riding before they came across a horde of titans.

Receiving the signal to from Hanji, they put on their masks and silently prepared the traps before stealthily began approaching the horde when they received the sign for stealth approach from the squad leader.

Hanji reached in their satchel for the gas canister, before they could even throw it at the horde, everything happens in slow motion.

There is the horrible sound of flesh being severed, the emblem of the Marleyan nation flying past followed by the sound of screams and horrified yells. 

Eren’s eyes are wide open in shock, his sight tunnelled and somehow both fuzzy and crisp all at once, his heartbeat slow and heavy in his chest as if mirroring the sound of the tableh he had heard with Levi in an Arabic nation they had visited a few months ago, before blood sprays out in front of his eyes and splatters on his face. 

His gaze moves down, never leaving Hanji’s arm even after it hits the ground as if by staring at it long enough he could undo what had just happened.

As if to lend credibility to the sight his wide eyes had been forced to witness, Hanji’s pained screams ring out like a sick accompaniment to the macabre orchestra of his shallow breathing and the heavy beat of his heart as they grasp onto their shoulder where their arm user to be, their blood flowing from in between their fingers and pooling on the ground. 

As the figure bearing Marley’s emblem that had just flown past them made a u-turn and stabbed their blade through Hanji’s throat, cutting them off mid-scream, the world around Eren snapped back into perspective. 

He realized that Zeke had grabbed him and pulled him aside, yelling something that Eren couldn’t focus enough to hear, his gaze still stuck on Hanji who had fallen to the ground with their eyes wide with fear and their expression frozen in pain, lying there on the ground in a pool of their blood unmoving. 

This must be hell. Eren thinks, watching Armin get knocked out while trying to help a new recruit and carried away to where two Marleyan soldiers were being given the serum. Because if hell exists, he can’t imagine it being anything other than him being forced to witness those he cares about die. 

* * *

“Right before we could test the prototypes, Hanji died.” Eren retells, his eyes glossed over as he remembers the events that he bore witness to just moments before. “So did Zeke and Armin, consumed by soldiers on the enemy’s side.”

“Oh, Eren…” Levi murmurs, getting out of his seat and approaching the shaking man, wrapping his arms around him in hopes the act would provide even the littlest of comfort. “I’m sorry you had to witness that…”

Eren holds onto Levi tightly, a sob ripping its way out of his throat. Once he saw Hanji fall to the ground and Armin, and Zeke get eaten, he had jumped through time right away, so he hadn’t even had the time to come to terms with what had happened, let alone the time to mourn. 

“Cry,” Levi commands softly, carding his fingers through Eren’s hair. “Holding it in is a poison to the heart, let it all out,” 

Feeling as if there is a lump in his throat, Eren doesn’t say anything and merely nods, burying his face in Levi’s shirt, soaking the fabric with his tears.

For a while, all that could be heard in the room was Eren’s sobs as he unleashed all the pain, sadness, and anger he had experienced in the past few hours. 

When Eren’s sobs begin to slow down, Levi pulls away slightly, cupping Eren’s jaw in his hands, tilting his head questioningly. 

When Eren closes eyes, Levi leans forward and pecks Eren lightly on the lips, moving his hands away from Eren’s jaw to wrap his arms around Eren’s shoulders.

Eren sighed shakily before he pulls back to look Levi in the eyes, his own filled with uncertainty. “Are you sure you’re okay with this?” Eren sniffled anxiously, hesitantly placing his hand on the arm wrapped comfortingly around his shoulder. 

“What do you mean?”

“Are you sure you want to stay with me?” Eren elaborates. “I have his memories, his voice, and his face, but I’m from at least a year into the future, I’m not the Eren you remember,” Eren explains apologetically upon receiving a confused furrow of Levi’s brow in reaction to his words.

“I robbed you of the time you could have spent with that Eren... A time that will never return... ” His voice cracked and eyes grew misty. “I’m sorry… I’m really, really, sorry…” A tear leaks from his eye and down his cheek. “Nothing I could ever say would show just how sorry I am. If you hated me for it, I wouldn’t, couldn’t, blame you for that,” 

Levi lifts his hand, his fingers caressing Eren’s lips lovingly on their way to the lone tear that had escaped Eren’s red-rimmed eyes. Levi wipes the tear away, his rough and calloused fingers gentle against Eren’s flushed cheeks.

“I could never hate you for that, Eren… You only did it because you had to. I know if it wasn’t necessary, you wouldn’t have travelled back in time.” Levi assures softly. “And think about it this way;” Levi remarks lightly, patting Eren’s cheek lightly to make sure he had Eren’s full attention before he goes on. 

“Because you took that step, we now know of how the titans came to be. We know how the serum that turned Eldians into titans is made. We know of the possibility to create a vaccine to stop it and to counter the 13 years curse. Thanks to you taking that step, we now know when and how Hanji, Armin, and Zeke die, which would help us to work on a way to stop it from happening.” He reminds, softly stroking Eren’s cheek, his lips up turning into a soft, fond, and grateful smile. “Thanks to you making the decision to jump back in time we have the opportunity to save Hanji, and we have the opportunity to save both the shifters and the rest of the Eldians earlier. So no, I don’t hate you, and I could never hate you for making that choice, Eren.”

Eren stared at him in with a gaze full of awe, admiration, gratitude, and love for a long moment, wondering what he had ever done right in his life that led to loving and being loved by such an amazing and understanding man. 

When it looked like Eren was about to start crying Levi leaned down and firmly pressed his lips against Eren’s, caressing his lower lip between his, lightly nibbling on it before turning his attention to Eren’s upper lip, paying attention to the cupid’s bow before allowing his tongue to brush against the seam of Eren’s lips, pushing the wet and warm muscle in once Eren’s lips had parted to accept its entry. 

Eren's shoulders relaxed and he let out a relieved hum into the kiss, pulling Levi closer until the man pretty much sat in his lap, not that either of them minded, especially Eren. Busy enjoying every second of their kiss which tasted of love...

Understanding...

And the comforting taste of chamomile.


	5. Longing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, this chapter gave me a lot of trouble, thanks to that, the last two entries will be late. Sorry about that.
> 
> Remember to kudos and comment if you like the story.

Eren stops himself from sighing for the nth time that day. It’s been three months since Eren had travelled back in time. 

Three months since that evening when he had sat down with Levi and told him what had happened and why he had made the decision to go back even though it meant to break their promise. 

Three months since Levi had accepted the new Eren and their relationship had gone on as if nothing had changed just as Levi had promised him.

And here they were, Eren outside the walls while Levi had to stay behind due to an injury, already forced apart not even a full week after they’d had that conversation. 

Eren had to head out on an expedition with Hanji, Erwin, Jean, Armin, Zeke, as well as a few other soldiers a few days after that talk. 

After that warm tea flavoured kiss they had shared, Eren and Levi arranged a meeting with the Survey Corps members they were the closest to and knew they could trust, which led to Armin, Hanji, Jean, Zeke, Connie, Annie, Historia, Eren and Levi to gather in Erwin’s office about an hour after where Eren proceeded to tell them what he had told Levi. 

After he did, a question popped up. 

How had Marley forces known to be there waiting for them? Because as much as Eren tried to make himself believe otherwise, there was nothing else that could have been other than an ambush. 

Meaning Marley had known they would be out there that day.

That wasn’t the first time something like that has happened either, which lent further credibility to it when Zeke suggested the possibility that there was a spy amongst their ranks. 

Which is what led to this expedition. 

Despite being out on an expedition, exploring the world outside the walls, Eren couldn’t bring himself to be excited. Not when it meant being apart from his lover for three months. 

Levi had gotten injured two days before the expedition and despite his complaints and threats, to avoid the injury getting worse he was forced, to his reluctance, to stay back. 

If the expedition had lasted as long as it was meant to, Eren wouldn’t have had any complaints. He would have been parted from Levi either way, but at least it wouldn’t have been as long. 

The expedition was originally meant to be just a few days long, the goal of the expedition was to try and lure out the spy, and hopefully get their hands on the plant extract the serum was made of so that Hanji and the medical team could study it and try making the vaccine and cure again and hopefully faster now that they knew about the possibility to do so earlier. 

The first two parts were easy enough. The spy got lured out, interrogated, and dealt with within three days of being on the road. 

Getting the plant took a bit longer, considering that it was farther away, but that was taken care of in a week. 

If things had gone the way they were supposed to, they should have been on their way back to the walls right after.

But, to Eren’s displeasure, life is never that easy or forgiving now, is it?

* * *

“Well,” Hanji started, patting the side of the carriage they had just finished packing the plants into excitedly. “Now that we’ve gotten enough samples of the plant and have it all packed away in the carriage, we should finish packing up the things we don’t need to use anymore on this expedition and start making the necessary preparations to make our way back to the walls.” Hanji hummed thoughtfully, their thoughts occupied with all the tests they will get to perform once they’re back home. “It’s already late now though, so once you’re finished packing, have dinner and then go to sleep. it would be best to spend the night here and get back on the road early in the morning, alright?”

“Yes, sir!”

“Well, now that that has been clarified, I’m going to go get a head start on my report, come get me from my tent when dinner is finished cooking,” Hanji requested, stretching their arms above their head with a yawn, “Meeting adjourned,” They announced with a clap of their hands before skipping away happily to their tent with a wave at the squad.

“They seem quite excited,” Zeke pointed out, his eyes shining with amusement as they watched Hanji walk away.

“I can’t blame them,” Eren huffed a low laugh. “While they do fight as well and they are good at it, Hanji’s main interest is in science,” He points out. “Being able to do experiments is Hanji’s version of a joyful event, it’s their happiness,”

“Happiness, huh..:” Zeke hummed, appearing to be lost in his thoughts. “What is yours?”

“My what?” Eren asked with a curious tilt of his head.

“Your happiness,” Zeke elaborated. When that only got him a raised brow, he went on and added. “Other than annihilated the titans and freedom, I mean,”

Eren thought over that silently for a long moment. “I don’t really know,” He replied in the end. “After my mother died, exterminating the titans, freeing humanity, and seeing the outside world was all I thought about, I never really had the time to wonder as to what I would want to do after that.”

“Ah, while the reasons and goals were different, it was pretty much the same here” Zeke nodded in understanding. “But…” He started, biting his lower lip thoughtfully. “Things are changing now for the both of us, we have more people we care about, we met, and are now much closer to freedom than we ever were before, this war is certainly not going to last forever one way or another and will hopefully end with us winning.” He points out. “And with the potential for the existence of a cure for our problem now growing bigger and bigger, getting closer to becoming a reality, maybe it’s about time we start thinking about what we might be interested in doing after this war is over,”

“What to do after the war, huh…” Eren hummed thoughtfully. “I’ll think about it,”

“It would probably involve your beloved captain Levi,” Zeke grinned teasingly, his brows dancing up and down lasciviously and his eyes shining with mirth.

Eren rolled his eyes, understanding what his brother was hinting at and deciding to ignore it. “Well, it’s true that whatever it is that I decide to do when this is over, Levi will probably be involved in at least some of it,” Eren acknowledges with a shrug. “So will you and Armin,”

Zeke blinked at Eren in surprise before his brows furrowed in confusion. “What does whatever you want to do after the war have to do with me and Armin?”

“Well, you are my family, and so is Armin, he is pretty much family as well. Of course, I want to spend more time with my family and friends once we are free and don’t have to worry about the titans, Marley, and the 13 years time limit anymore,” Eren points out in a matter of factly tone of voice as if he was just stating the obvious.

“You really want to spend time with me?” Zeke asked hopefully.

“Yes,” Eren assured. “I do, we all do, and I know for a fact that Levi and Armin want to as well, to spend time with you, grow closer to you, and get to know you even better, if you would allow them to,”

Zeke stared at Eren blankly, feeling both unsure and hopeful as he studied his little brother’s unwavering expression uncertainty.

Eren let him do so without a word, understanding that his older brother needed to process things.

Sometimes, Eren still got the feeling that despite Zeke being on their side for a while now, and the way he was treated had changed in comparison to how it was back when he was fighting for Marley, or even in comparison to early on after he had switched sides, his brother still had trouble believing he would be included in things.

Especially good things that didn’t involve getting hurt or hurting someone.

Eren could understand it somewhat.

His brother had been used by his parents, picked up by someone who brainwashed and controlled him, and then led him to turn in his parents by branding them as traitors.

Even with them gone, Xaver still controlled and brainwashed him, and when he was gone too, Zeke was still being controlled by his will and the lies he’d told.

Used yet hated by the military, promised honour that he would never get, raised to hate his own people, as well as himself…

Eren can’t really blame him for thinking he wasn’t wanted around and was only being tolerated for the sake of the war. After all, Zeke had been raised to think that way of himself all his life.

Eren knows how it feels to some extent, he had gone through being hated but tolerated for the sake of the war when his ability to shift was first discovered himself. The only difference was that while he was hated and cursed and treated like a monster by some, he also had others who cared for and unconditionally loved him.

And now, it was Eren’s turn to be that for Zeke. To teach him that it’s okay to live, that he was loved and appreciated, and that he wasn’t anything Marley and Xaver tried to make him believe he was, nor did he deserve any of the things they made him think he deserved.

Eren, and Levi too, in fact, have been doing their best to be there for Zeke and hopefully give them enough good memories to battle the bad, let him know that he was wanted as often as they could.

Once the war was over, they will have more time to try and heal some of the wounds in their hearts without having to fear the forming of new deep ones so soon after.

Once the war was over, they could go about granting their dreams. Levi could finally open a tea shop as he had always wanted.

Once the war was over, the walls could finally be brought down.

Once the war was over, Eren and Armin could finally go and see the world, Levi, Zeke, and Hanji, maybe the others too joining them on some of the trips, too.

Once the war was over, they will finally be able to build the lives they had always hoped for but had been robbed of by the existence of the titans.

And they looked forward to it, longed for their freedom more than anything and clung to the prospect of it like a warm blanket of hope in a world freezing cold with despair.

“Dinner is ready!” a soldier near the firepit called, stirring the contents of a large pot. “Can someone go inform the squad leader?”

Another soldier rushed off to do just that.

Eren watched them prepare to serve dinner for a while longer before taking his brother’s hand and joining them around the fire just as Hanji emerged from their tent.

As he watched his comrades eat and chat among themselves and with his brother, Eren vowed to himself again.

They are going to win the war, they have to, Eren will see to it, he won’t let it be otherwise.

* * *

After the hearty meal with their comrades by the firepit and clean up, Eren, Zeke, Armin, and Connie headed to their shared tent.

Their bedrolls were in a way that would allow them to face each other in case they decided to converse a bit before going to sleep.

Connie laid down in his bedroll with a loud yawn. “Ugh, finally,” He sighed, shifting around in his bedroll until he was laying comfortably before zipping it up. “This day felt almost never-ending with how long and slow it was,”

“We’ll be going home tomorrow though,” Armin chirped happily. “I’m in dire need of a long and loving date with the shower,”

“So do we all,” Zeke pointed out with a snort.

“Levi won’t let me even hug him before I’ve scrubbed for at least an hour,” Eren sulks, pouting childishly.

Zeke shivers at the thought. “Knowing him, he will probably be waiting for us and he’ll throw us all in the communal showers the second we step past the gate,”

Their mouths pressed into a firm line, a solemn silence falling over the tent at the thought.

“Let’s just sleep,” Connie whimpers. “Please,”

“Goodnight,” The others responded before turning away from each other, ready to clock out for the night.

Eren grasped the opening of his bedroll tightly in between his fingers.

He really missed Levi.

* * *

“Is everything ready?” Hanji yelled over the sound of the horses’ hooves hitting the ground and the various other noises preparing for departure.

Hanji pulled at the reins of their horse lightly yet firmly to keep it from running ahead as they observed the other soldiers run about in preparation for their anticipated return to the walls.

They were vibrating in excitement at the prospect of finally going home and seeing their loved ones again. Their excitement and joy were so high it could be felt in the dipping of the soil beneath their feet and tasted in the air.

With all the preparations done, they straddle their horses.

“Squad leader Hanji, everything is ready,” Connie informs, bringing his horse up next to Hanji’s.

“Good,” Hanji chirps happily. “What are you waiting for, then? Let’s go!” They cry, punching their fist in the air excitedly.

“Yes, sir!” They cried in return, their excitement matching Hanji’s own.

Within moments they were riding off, their spirits high and hearts filled with hope, the sounds of their horses’ hooves hitting the ground echoing in the air, dust and soil flying up behind them and floating in the air with every step the horses took.

They sent the horses into a gallop, thirty minutes in Zeke and Eren rode up to Hanji.

“How long do you think it will be before we arrive at the walls?” Zeke asked curiously, keeping his gaze up ahead.

“That depends,” Hanji yells over the loud noise brought on by the horses’ footsteps. “If we keep riding without a break, we should we should arrive at the walls at the 20th hour,” They state thoughtfully. “But that’s obviously neither good for the horses nor us so…”

“You think we should stop for a break?” Eren asks.

“Yes, that would be for the best.” Hanji agreed. “Now it’s six in the morning, we should probably stop for a short break in two and a half hours. Taking a short break every three hours or so to let the horses rest and have some water, as well as eat something ourselves.”

“It will take longer for us to reach the walls that way, but it’s the better option so it can’t be helped. We can’t risk the horses getting hurt,” Zeke agreed.

“Yes, we can’t, especially not while out here where we wouldn’t be able to help them if they ended up getting hurt. ” Hanji agreed. “Now that we’ve come to a decision, can you ride to the back and tell the others?” Hanji asked, glancing at Zeke from the corner of their eye.

Zeke nods before leaving to do as he was asked.

* * *

“Missing your little grump?” Hanji asks around a mouthful of ration bar.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full,” Eren replies before taking a bite of his own.

Hanji swallows before directing a pout at the brunet. “You didn’t answer my question,”

“Of course I miss him,” Eren states honestly. “I had just gotten to see him again after having to go back in time while out on an expedition without him due to a meeting he’d had to attend with Erwin without having gotten the chance to say goodbye, and just as I got to see him again, albeit a tad younger version of him, I didn’t even get to enjoy the relief and happiness of being assured that he doesn’t want to break up with me now that I had broken the promise I’d made him and turn our relationship purely professional before having to leave on an expedition a few days after. As much as I love going on expeditions, this is pretty much torture at this point in time.” Eren’s rant cuts off with a pant, making it quite clear just how agitated he was about all of this.

Hanji waits patiently as he catches his breath. “Yes, I miss him,” He repeats softly. “And while I know that this expedition was quite important for many reasons and that we wanted to get it done sooner rather than later so we wouldn’t have to worry about the spy anymore and get to work on the antidote and vaccine earlier, but I can’t help but feel like it’s ill-timed,”

“While I get what you mean,” Hanji begins carefully, setting a comforting hand on Eren’s shoulder. “But, and I don’t know if you’ll find that comforting enough, try thinking of it this way; Once the cure is complete, chances are you will get to spend much more time with Levi now more than ever. The faster the cure is done, the more likely that is,” They pointed out. “So while you are separated for him now and it’s annoying, ill-timed and painful, this separation is so that you can have more time with him in the future, so please, while I understand it can be really difficult to do so, bear with it a bit longer,”

Eren mulled over Hanji’s words before turning to them with a smile. “That is actually comforting,” He admitted. “Thank you,” He says, squeezing Hanji’s shoulder in both apology and gratitude.

Apology for going off on them like that, and gratitude for the comfort they offered.

“You’re welcome,” Hanji responded, understanding what he meant. They turned away from him and pulled out a tea canister from their satchel, waving it in front of his eyes slowly, as if to tempt him. “Tea?” They ask, already starting to brew some before he even answered.

“Please,” He replied anyway.

Once they were done with the rations and Eren and Hanji had a cup of calming tea, they were off on the road again.

Any excitement they had felt was dashed when, as they turned past the dilapidated remains of what once was a warm and lively house, they come face to face with an expedition team bearing Marley’s emblem. 

* * *

Eren grunts before his eyes slowly open to the sight of his brother sitting by his bedside and holding his hand with a concerned expression on his face.

“I feel like things like this keep happening a lot lately,” Zeke comments softly, referring to how often he has been finding himself sitting by an injured and unconscious Eren’s bedside and waiting for him to wake up.

“I’m sorry,” Eren murmurs hoarsely, devolving into a coughing fit right after.

Zeke lets go of his hand in favour of pouring him a glass of water, helping him sit up slowly and handing it to him to drink.

Eren accepts the glass with a grateful nod and slowly drinks the glass’ contents until it’s empty, handing the glass back to his brother.

Once Zeke had set the glass back down on the bedside table and turned his attention back to Eren, the brunet spoke.

“What happened?” Eren asked hesitantly.

“How much do you remember?” Zeke asks in return.

“We were just on our way back to the walls when we ended up bumping into enemy forces and were forced to engage them when they attacked us,” Eren says thoughtfully. “I remember seeing Connie get injured and shifting…” recalls with a frown. “I remember killing a few of them, then one of them shooting something like a cannonball that split in half and released some gas in my face. I don’t remember much after that,”

“That cannonball was a sleeping gas,” Zeke stated

Eren frowned. “Sleeping gas? How is that possible?” He asked taken aback by the revelation. “I thought those didn’t work while in titan form?”

“They didn’t,” Zeke affirms. “Or at least, they didn’t use to.” He amends. “It seems like they’ve been busy, working on a knockout gas that would overcome the faster healing effects of being a shifter and worked on us in titan form as well.”

“Well,” Eren sighs, dragging his hand down his face. “Fuck,”

“Fuck indeed,” Zeke agreed with a grim expression on his face. The existence of a knockout gas that worked on them even in titan form spelt more trouble for them than they were comfortable with or liked to think about.

“So,” Eren starts after a moment, turning his attention back towards his brother. “What happened after I passed out exactly?”

“Well…” Zeke huffs, running his fingers through his wavy blond locks while directing an exasperated look towards the ceiling. “After you passed out, there was a lot of panics, our shock over you suddenly passing out, with Marley trying to snatch you and us trying to stop them and protect you… It was a mess.”

“How many did we lose…?” Eren asked hesitantly.

“None actually,” Zeke assures. “There was a lot of injuries but no deaths,”

“What? How?” Eren asked, his eyes wide in shock. No one dying after they had encountered enemy forces, be it titans, Marleyans, or both has never happened before.

“After you passed out, realizing that something was seriously wrong, Hanji extracted you out of your titan form and ordered us to get back on horseback and flee. Considering you got knocked out in an instant by an unknown gas, we didn't stay to try and fight them this time, Hanji threw you on their horse and rode off,” Zeke explained. “We were chased by the enemy, but at some point we ran into an exploration team from another nation that happened to be nearby, when we explained the situation and they saw us being chased, they fended those chasing us off and brought us back to their nation to recuperate and resupply the things that got destroyed by the enemy. We've been here for three days now.”

“Three days…?” Eren asked, shaken.

“Yes,” Zeke confirmed. “You've been unconscious for three days now,”

Eren winced. “Well, that brings back memories,”

“First few times shifting?” Zeke asks with a knowing look on his face.

“Ugh, yes,” Eren agrees. “Those were the worst. Not to mention the times when I stayed in my titan form longer than my body could handle,” Eren huffed, making a face at the reminder. “How is everyone?”

“Injured, but otherwise fine. There were a lot of dislocated joints, fractured and broken bones, they’ve been given the medical attention they needed and left to recuperate.” Zeke informed. “Armin is currently talking to some of the strategists and explaining our situation, and Hanji is talking to the doctors who had volunteered to help with the cure and trying to secure a location and more manpower to begin preparing it, since we will be staying here for a long while due to the injuries and resupplying the things that got destroyed,”

“A long while?” Eren asks hesitantly. “How long are we talking here,”

Zeke purses his lips thoughtfully, wondering how to tell his brother of their current situation in a way that would distress him the least. He bit his lip and mulled over it, sighing when he realized there was no easy way to really tell him. “By our estimates…” He began slowly.

“By your estimates…?” Eren repeats just as slowly, his brows deeply furrowed and his eyes narrowed as if telling his brother to just get on with it.

“At least two months,” Zeke obliged.

“WHAT?!” Eren yelled, throwing the blanket off and attempting to get up fast only for his eyes to roll back and for him to drop back down onto the bed.

“Idiot,” Zeke admonishes exasperatedly. “You’ve been unconscious for three days and still have some of the drugs in your system, shouldn’t try getting up so fast,”

“Two months…?” Eren murmurs weakly as Zeke helps him to lay back down properly under the blanket again.

“Yes, for the broken bones to heal and for us to resupply and fix the equipment the Marleyan’s had destroyed, we will need at least two months. It’s good that the exploration team of this nation found us when they did or we would’ve been completely screwed,”

“I won’t see Levi for two months…” Eren whines, his lips falling into a pout.

“You won’t,” Zeke agrees. “Probably,” He amends. “You might be able to send him letters soon though,” Zeke elaborates when Eren’s pouty face morphs into a confused expression. “After Hanji and Armin had a meeting with the leaders of this nation and told them of our situation, of what has been happening for a hundred years now, it seems like the people of this nation sympathized and intends to ally itself with us. I heard talk about establishing a communication line between here and Paradis earlier before I came to check on you. It seems like this nation uses something called a plane to deliver mail back and forth, enabling them to correspond with allies easier,”

“What’s a plane?” Eren with a curious and innocent glint in his eyes.

“From the explanation I heard, it’s similar to a zeppelin, in that it’s a flying compartment, but unlike a zeppelin, it doesn’t have the balloon part, but wings and propellers instead which are used to make it fly,”

Eren’s eyes glossed over, his face flushed and he began fidgeting in place.

“No,” Zeke stated flatly, his arms crossed against his chest.

“No what?” Eren asked, blinking at his brother innocently.

“You still have the drug in your system and should be resting it off,” Zeke reminded firmly. “So no, you can’t go see it now,”

“But-”

“No butts, go sleep,” Zeke commands.

Eren clicks his tongue and turns away from his brother petulantly but does as told.

“If Hanji clears you tomorrow, then I can take to you see one of the planes,” Zeke promises before exiting the room.

* * *

“So, how are you feeling,” Zeke asked, bringing his horse up next to Eren’s.

“Better than I have in a while,” Eren admitted.

“I bet,” Zeke acknowledged, his eyes softening. “Who would have thought the cure would end up being a success on the first try?”

“It’s thanks to Hanji’s and our new allies’ combined efforts,” Armin states, joining the conversation with a small smile on his face. “Without them, their determination and efficiency, we wouldn’t have had much longer, especially you two who became shifters earlier,”

“Yes, we really owe them a lot,” Eren agrees. “If you had told me three months ago that the people of a nation we never knew of and that never knew of us, in turn, would step up to our aid, I would have called you crazy,” He admits. “Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined complete strangers from another nation would sympathize with, take us in, and help us,”

“Not only that, but after all the help they had given us by letting us stay in their homeland to heal, helping us repair our equipment, and providing replacement for the supplies we had lost, they wish to ally themselves with and are even escorting us home to make sure we get there safely, and sending one of their ambassadors to talk to our leaders and spend a year in Paradis too…” Zeke recalls, glancing at the red-haired, green-eyed woman with a flower emblem on her uniform riding up ahead in the formation next to Hanji.

“Hard to believe, isn’t it?” Armin finished, catching on to what Zeke meant.

“Yes, if I wasn’t seeing it in front of me right now, I would have thought it a dream,”

We’re going home,” Armin said with a relieved sigh.

“We’re going home,” Eren repeated, tone filled with excitement and awe.

He misses Levi. He misses the man so much, he misses him more than he could ever say. More than he had words in his vocabulary to describe. Just the thought of finally seeing him had his heart doing somersaults in his ribcage.

He misses his inky black hair that fell over his and the shaved part of his undercut.

He misses his narrow hooded pale blue eyes that reminded him of icicles that somehow still managed to come off as warm.

He misses his pouty and kissable mouth that loved sipping on fancy tea and making shit jokes.

He misses his flat and monotonous voice that somehow always managed to get soft and fill with fondness whenever Levi spoke his name or talked to him.

He misses Levi looking at him and the way he looked at him like he was something precious, something worth loving and fighting for even after everything that had happened.

He misses him like a sunflower misses the sun when it goes down and turns in its direction when it comes up.

Misses him like the horizon kisses the sun home at the end of the day and welcomes it into its enveloping embrace.

Misses him like the waves miss the shore. Misses him like a sailor misses the sea when on dry land.

He just really misses him. And he will finally see him again.

Eren is pulled out of his thoughts at the sound of Hanji clapping their hands to catch everyone’s attention. “Listen up you guys!” They start, going on once the whispering stopped and complete silence took over. “We’ve been away from home for so long and it’s time for us to go back, and I don’t know about all of you, but I’m more than ready to go back, I miss my office, the commander’s caterpillar-like brows, and the little grump that had to be left behind this time,” They said, earning a few chuckles and threats to tell Levi that they’d called him little, to which they whined in return.

“Well,” Hanji growled jokingly before turning and pointing towards the horizon. “Home we go!”

Cries of ‘Home!’ filled the air, and before long, they were on the road.

After three months away, they were finally going home.

They rode past large trees, some of which bore fruits they had never seen before. Out of curiosity, Hanji had one of the soldiers go and pick a few to take back home and test.

* * *

They made it back to the walls before it was fully dark, just as the sun met the horizon, the sky exploding into the myriads of colours that formed the magical sunset.

The gate opened the people waiting on the other side, having been informed of their arrived that day and waiting for it with bated breath.

Cheers followed them as they passed through the gate and made their way to the survey corps base where Levi and Erwin along with the other scouts that had stayed back were waiting for them.

Levi and Erwin were the first to approach the newly home scouts, welcoming them back. It wasn’t long before the crowd dispersed, leaving behind the scouts and their families and friends.

While they had been recuperating at their new ally nation, Hanji and Armin had made sure to send detailed reports of what had happened while they were out on the expedition.

They reported about their mishap with the Marleyan soldiers whom they had bumped into while out there, their ruined equipment and their three months stay away from home, about their new allies’ hospitality and their help in repairing the equipment that had been destroyed, about them helping the scouts resupply everything they had lost, and about the finished cure and vaccines which have been thoroughly tested while they were there and confirmed a success.

Due to those detailed reports, they didn’t have to attend any meeting that day and had the next few days to themselves to rest and spend time with their loved ones.

That’s why Levi and Eren didn’t bother to stay for long, they knew they didn’t have to. Wanting some privacy, they handed Eren’s horse to the stable hand and headed inside, making their way to Levi’s office.

Once they were in Levi’s office and the door shut down behind them, it was if they were pulled together by a magnetic force, their three months-long separation holding them together like a strong adhesive that refused to let them part.

They embraced for the first time in three months, Levi’s fingers grasping on to his shirt tightly and his lips dropping little kisses all over his face before pressing against his lips firmly, the kiss growing heavier and lasting longer, growing more and more difficult for them to pull back with each parting of their lips.

Eren gasped against Levi’s lips and held onto the man tightly, parting his lips to allow Levi’s exploring tongue into his mouth.

“You’re home…” Levi murmured against Eren’s lips, cupping Eren’s cheeks in his hands, his voice soft and almost disbelieving.

“I’m home,” Eren confirmed, running his fingers against the shaved portion of his lover’s head.

They stared at each other, holding each other’s gazes for a long moment before their lips met again, the frantic pace of their earlier kisses gone, disappearing into a slow and languid dance of their tongues and long presses of their lips against each other.

As they kissed with the setting sun illuminating their form, it felt like they could fully breathe again for the first time since Eren had left on that expedition.

Levi pulled back and pressed his forehead against Eren’s, lovingly staring into his glittering teal eyes.

Yes, Eren was finally home. 


End file.
